I didn’t always get it. I still don’t get it. There are facets of your mind.. Of your imagination, that I can only hope to discover. I don’t always understand .. And the biggest lesson I can say that I’ve learn, is that it’s okay not to understand. I look back at some of our precious time together and I ponder in amazement, of your beautiful mind.
I crave to know the contents, of this mind. I think of how your body reacts to these things that circulate inside your head. I, at first, thought the most beautiful thing about you, the most desirable place inside of you, was your heart. I saw a glimpse of it beating and decided that’s where I’ll start…
That’s where I belong.
Then the startling realization that it is not your heart that beats the rhythm your soul dances to, it is your mind. Your thoughts, your intellect, tell your heart what beat to play, to have your soul begin to sway. And I can tell you that I haven’t a clue of what your mind will say…
And I forget to wait for my invitation. Why you do the things you do, why you hurt yourself to protect others.. Why you sacrifice… are things that I’ve learned it’s okay to not understand.
It is your mind that intrigues me. Thinking.. Always thinking. Always trying to discover. You learn from everything and often times say nothing, as the knowledge fills your souls desire and I sit, but in awe, of the process. And I wonder why I ever wanted to belong any other part of you.. How your words when spoken fall right out of your mouth, and into my hungry mind. For you to think of me, well, means so much more than the words I love you could ever mean to a soul. For you to have well thoughts of me, means more than either of us dare to imagine…but I bet you have already. And it’s really not okay for me not to understand. Because it’s the only place my mind will go.. It’s the only thing that feeds me.
“What is on Layla’s mind?”
My stomach growls with anticipation. My mind makes excuses for failing to understand, and I, myself, get lost in the thoughts I use to protect my heart’s right to beat if I think it to.
But I think of you and it beats, and the rhythm scares my mind as it beats louder and louder.. I wonder if I’m scared of the sound and I wonder how to stop it… But it pounds steadily, loudly, and proudly. What a thought of you does to me..I may never understand. Everything goes away. There are no sounds. There are no thoughts. Just the beating and the dancing. That’s when hope comes in. And when I can’t explain why hope joins the fun.. That’s when the faith comes in.. And when I have the tiniest bit of doubt that’s where the love comes in..
And I swept away.
A Thought Shared